Big Red Tour: How to travel by 4WD in the Australian Outback.

B I G R E D T O U R

How to travel by 4WD in the Australian Outback

WHERE TO GO

GREAT OUTBACK PUBS

Meekathara, Western Australia. There are a number of old hotels in this mining town. Some of the bars have skimpies (girls in underwear), so if you don't like that, be warned. The miners are absolutely crazy on a Friday night.

The Dangi Pub, Urandangi (7 inhabitants), Queensland. Urandangi used to be a drover's waterhole, but now when all cattle are transported by road trains, Urandangi is deserted. If you go there, say hello to Janne Anderson (daughter of previous owner Nils and Liz from Denmark).

William's Creek, South Australia. This is a one house town! The road also works as a landing strip for aero planes. It's a bit of tourist thing and the camping is horrific in the dust, but the owners are friendly and the beer is ice cold.

Timber Creek, Northern Territory. There's actually two of them, I went to the western one. Both are open 24 hours! Very friendly atmosphere, black and white fellas drink together.

The Praire Hotel, Parachilna (11 inhabitants), Flinder's Ranges, South Australia. Gourmet food and very friendly people. I hung out there a couple of rainy winter days, waiting for better weather for a camel trip.

Sometimes, the tourist places are not the best place to drink. If you want to go to a real working man's pub there a large number of them. Built of bricks, with mats on the floor and one armed bandit game machine. No Crocodile Dundee romanticism, just tired men with dusty throats and bar maids with a language that would make Tommy Lee in Mötley Crüe blush.

PUB FOOD
Food at the pubs is almost always bad. Steak, eggs and chips, truck driver food.
There are exceptions, like when they have a Chinese restaruant, or as in Parachilna happen to run a gourmet restaurant in the bush.

Shitatorium

Camel

Road sign to Curdimurka

Flinder's Ranges

Lift um foot

Puttum back down

There's nothing like the feeling of an ice cold beer in an outback pub. You have been driving all day on dusty roads. You are sweaty, dirty and your throat is dry. As you enter the pub and order a chilled Victoria Bitter, you're about to enter heaven.
If you equip yourself with some basic pub manners, then you'll have a great time.

THE DIFFERENT SECTIONS
There are normally three sections in an outback pub. First, an upmarket section where dress codes are strict after six o'clock. This means no singlets, dusty clothes, thongs or sarongs. I was rejected in Hall's Creek since I had a designer T-shirt without collar!
  - No collar, no entrance, sorry mate.
   Basically this means that workers and aboriginals are not allowed. Some hotels have a decent Chinese restaurant.
  Secondly the general section for the working class people. Proper dress, but somewhat more tolerant. No aboriginals. This is often the most fun place to drink in, you never know what characters you bump into. Be prepared to discuss cattle and changing oil filters on Toyota Landcruisers.
  Thirdly, the so called Sportman's Bar. This is an euphemism for the aboriginal section. The only sport that is excised here is suicide by alcohol poisioning.
   If you feel like meeting aboriginals, then my recommendation is that you don't rush into their place and intrude on their privacy. There are plenty of other opportunities to meet and talk to aboriginals except when they are dead drunk.

HOW TO DRINK
The outback pub is a great place to meet people and work on your beer belly. To blend in with the locals, the correct behaviour is the following:

1. Put the amount of money you intend to drink for on the bar, like $20 or such. The publican or bar maid will take out as much as your drink cost and give you change back. Leave the change at the bar.

2. Order your favourite beer, e.g. Victoria Bitter, either in a can or a stubby.

3. Drink in you own pace.

4. When the beer is finished, then you nod or lift your finger and look at the publican who promptly will give you a new, cold refreshing VB, and withdraw the correct amount from the pile of money in front of you.

5. Be fair dinkum and shout your mates

THE FAMOUS BAR BRAWL
Everywhere you go in the bush, you get to hear about amazing pub fights. However, I have never seen any pub fight live, and I have never met anyone who have a first hand experience, either as participant or on-looker. It's a myth, people are always very friendly.
Having said that, there are sometimes scary people at pubs. Rough guys who use drugs and are obviously ex cons looking for a new life in the bush. After a while you learn to see the difference between the guys that are only rough and the cons.